Alcoholic Spouse Didn’t Come Home Last Night

Guest Submission By: Gail
My husband has been an alcoholic for over twenty five years. We’ve been married for the past 13 years. He always comes home after work around 6PM. The other night he never came home. He was at work and said he was going to go out with a couple of his buddies and would be home around eleven. I told him to be quiet because I had to work in the morning and would be going to be early. When I woke up at 4AM he was not home. I called his cell phone worried sick, he answered and said that he was a someones house named Bushard.

I could hear that there were several people there. It sounded like a party was going on. When I asked him when he was coming home, he said in a little while. I told him no to drive and to get a cab or have someone drive him home who was sober. Needless to say when we hung up the phone I was furious, worried and anxious. He’s never done anything like this. Before I got off the phone, I told him that this better be the last time he ever pulls this sort of Sh** while he’s married to me.

One of my earliest thoughts was that my spouse was interested in a girl. I mean why else would he be there. He’s never done any drugs that I know of. The entire situation totally baffled me. I couldn’t go back to sleep, he never came home. I tried to call him before leaving for work at 6:30 and he never answered his phone. I was a nervous wreck.

When I got to work a closer friend of mine noticed right away that I was upset. We started talking about what happened. Laura started sharing about how years ago her spouse used to do this sort of thing, but that he has since been sober for over 16 years. She told me to go to Al-anon and offered to join me if I decided to go. She also told me that when dealing with an alcoholic spouse, it’s important to not fight about my husband’s drinking.

I don’t know what to do. My husband and I have fought over this particular incident on about five different occasions now. I don’t believe that he was just having a good time with the guys. I am very insecure about the whole incident and fear that he has taken an interested in some woman that he works with.

I hate this! I’ve never been the sort of person to go through my husbands personal things. The other day I decided to look in his wallet. When he gets on the phone and is in a different room, I’ve been trying to get close enough, without him knowing I’m near, to listen to what he is saying. The other day I suspected that he didn’t go to work and called just to check up on him. I hate feeling this way. I don’t trust him right now as far as I could throw him.

I really need some help with this. I feel like I am going crazy.
alcoholic spouse 1

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