Learning coping methods is a must if you are in a relationship with an alcoholic who has an anger problem. Most addicts use anger to keep everyone around them in some sort of turmoil. This helps keep the attention off of them and places it on others. If they can make you or me mad enough, then they can point the finger at our disgusting behavior in judgement. Somehow this makes them feel good about themselves. I know it sounds sort of sick and it is. Dysfunctional relationships with addicts are just that…extremely dysfunctional!
Through the many years that I’ve been dealing with alcoholics, I’ve learned many coping skills. Most of what I have learned was obtained through attending open AA and Al-anon meetings, reading books and through interacting with wise people who have been coping with addicts for many years.
I grew up with an angry alcoholic mother. I have a brother whose temper has a tendency to fly off the handle when he has a little too much to drink. I was also married to a horribly abusive addict. I not only have learned what to do in situations with angry alcoholics, but have had plenty of experience in determining what really works.
Try A Few Of These Tips:
- Never argue with an alcoholic.
- Always be prepared to get out of harms way.
- Learn how to communicate with an alcoholic.
- Get educated as to how to set boundaries with alcoholics.
- Not everything they say about you is true. You don’t have to let their insults hurt you.
- Learn how to love them unconditionally.
NOT EVERYTHING AN ALCOHOLIC SAYS ABOUT YOU IS TRUE!
An angry addict can say horrible things. Much of what they say to us is not true, yet we allow their stupid comments to dominate our thoughts. When they do this, if it’s not true, don’t allow it to bother you. This just takes a conscious effort on our part to be aware of what they are saying and shake it off. We have a saying in the Al-anon program; “don’t allow them to rent space in your head.”
Since I understand exactly what you are going through, I have assembled some FREE audio lessons. You can find the here: How To Cope With An Alcoholic.
As you learn more about how to handle the personality of an addict/alcoholic, you will start to enjoy more peace in your life. I can say this because all of the methods that I learned and teach work…they really do.
Filed under: Dealing With Alcoholics |