One of the most challenging things in any relationship is remaining your own person, having individual interests and loving yourself. In codependent relationships with alcoholics it’s even more challenging.
The first thing you need to do is make a decision to do things differently. Change all begins with your attitude. If you decide right now to change your daily routine, then you are on the right track. A good place to being change is by learning how to cope with an alcoholic.
I was recently listening to an audio lesson by Sherry Gaba about being addicted to love. In her telesiminar she talks about being in love so much with someone that you allow them to treat you like dirt. She shares how her love relationship with her husband allowed him to drag her into the mud of alcoholism. Her story turned to a positive note when she mentioned letting go of the alcoholic.
One of my favorite sayings that I heard in an Al-anon meeting is “Let go or be dragged.” When I was in love with an alcoholic we were so enmeshed that when she was in a good mood, I was in a good mood. When she was in a rotten mood, I tended to be in a rotten mood. When she told me I was a loser, I believed her. When the alcoholic blamed me for all of our problems, I owned most of what she threw on me.
It wasn’t until I learned how to not let the alcoholic drag me through the mud of negativity that I truly started living a happier life. This was a very slow process though because we had been dancing in the muddy territory for a very long time. It wasn’t an easy task to change my daily routine by separating myself from her opinions of me.
If you are being dragged through the mud by an obnoxious alcoholic boyfriend, husband, wife or girlfriend try a few of these suggestions:
Filed under: Dealing With Alcoholics |